That Southern Girl

It's my crazy life…

Last night I read and saved a couple of quotes on Pinterest… I am constantly on there, not for craft inspiration but to try and figure life out…. my life… sometimes everyone else’s life too, if only some of them would listen to me… I could help them be their best self..(Pinterest’ish right

PTSD is a shit… I’m sure you have seen the multiple posts/blogs/vlogs or whatever about how horrible it is… It is easier for those with no personal experience … meaning you have not had to deal with a diagnosis personally , or that of a family member or a friend… For the ones with no experience, it is like looking inside a window of a random house.  You can look and keep going

For those who are suffering from it, because you do truly suffer.. you end up trying to cope, it doesn’t go away.. there is no magic pill to make things not hurt as much…

PTSD doesn’t just effect the ones diagnosed with it, it effects EVERYONE in that person’s life (to some extent). It effects those who decide to stick around, because plenty leave. Those experiencing PTSD, in some form or degree… we are the ones inside that house, you know the one, that you just looked in the windows…. like a creeper… but you did and you walked away…  The ones trying to live with someone with PTSD, constantly feel isolated, not listened to.. end up being yelled at… sit crying, and I’m sure they think about leaving as well… The ones living with the person with PTSD, have their very own storm they need to hide from at times.  The friends that actually stick around, might limit how much time they give to that person.  There are the friendships that aren’t as common where the friend has figured out how to “deal” with the person with PTSD and they are willing to have that friendship… even with all the craziness included… All of the ups and downs.. and when the downs hit, they hit hard.

PTSD … Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  To explain this is the simplest form… this is caused by a traumatic event…. ONE traumatic event… not multiple.  Crazy, right?? Think about that… think about the individuals you always hear about with PTSD… Veterans, LEO, and those in the EMS field.  This is bullshit… based on ONE traumatic event… everyone at some point will have PTSD.  When you read articles about PTSD, you will read, how it is supposed to mellow out and the individual is suppose to “get over it” and move on with their life.  Maybe there are those that figure out how to cope.. they find a vice and that gets them through to the next day.  Oh the vices that people jump to, and decide to latch on. I worked in the EMS field, and I have a lot of friends who are Veterans and LEOs,  as well as those in the EMS field.  The vices can end up being a shitty part added to the already shitty parts of PTSD… Whether it’s porn, drinking, prescription meds, working out, anything adrenaline related, sex, eating, shopping, tv, video games…  Some things appear to be a hobby, but it isn’t a hobby…but their obsession at the time.  

Let me jump to C-PTSD… I never heard of it prior to 2016… Here is how it was explained to me…

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder… Is the big brother to PTSD. I have had to add my own spin to it, to explain it a little better…. Since it is the “older” one, it has had time to grow… become healthy and strong… C-PTSD doesn’t come from one event, but multiple and events that are ongoing… As if a traumatic event wasn’t enough to deal with, making it last longer… OHHHH Sign me up!!!…. Kidding, I’m already a member of this club.  Everything that goes with PTSD, is amplified with C-PTSD.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t about jump out of my skin, hide in a bathroom and cry.. hoping to just get through the rest of the day… it is such a shitty way to live.

I will try and post some info on C-PTSD, if I can figure out how to post it…

Those quotes…

“All you have to do is write one true sentence.  Write the truest sentence that you know.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” ~Ernest Hemingway

I read both quotes a few times over the years, and they never hit me…until last night.  It made me realize how easy it has been to write or talk about other people, and only sprinkle a little bit of me into the mix.  The few times I thought about writing about what I have gone through, I cry and think screw it… no one will be interested.  I guess it is time to move past that…


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